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The choice between getting a new piece of jewelry or saving lives is an easy one to make. I briefly considered going back to Claire’s to have my right ear pierced, but I would have to abstain from donating blood for twelve months if I were to get a new piercing. Wearing only a left earring just doesn’t feel right anymore. The day after talking to my former student, I removed my earring. They deserve better from people like me who claim to be their allies. They have the same hopes, fears, and dreams that straight people have. I also know that gay people are just people. Having had the pleasure of getting to know many gay and lesbian people, I now know that homosexuality is not a choice. Over the years, my views on homosexuality have changed. I was never the least bit racist, but for reasons that only sound like weak excuses now, I never felt bad about telling gay jokes or repeating homophobic slurs when I was a young man. My choice to pierce my left ear was deliberate. The ugly truth is that when I got my ear pierced all those years ago, I was homophobic. I have many friends who are gay, and I have even officiated same-sex weddings for several of them-while wearing my left earring. The reason I wanted to find a rock to go hide under during my conversation with the young lady is that her mother, a good friend of mine, happens to be gay. The eye-opening revelation I had last week is that when people such as my former student see an earring in my left ear, they think I believe that a pierced right ear (and homosexuality) is wrong. “Left is right, right is wrong.” The meaning behind this phrase is that men who pierce their left ears are heterosexual, and men who pierce their right ears are homosexual. In the 1980s and 1990s, there was a saying recited by men that helped them decide which ear to pierce. Then I looked for a rock to go hide under. I reluctantly admitted that I was, in fact, aware of the symbolism. “You do know there’s a meaning to having just your left ear pierced, don’t you?” she said. “But why did you pick your left ear?” I hesitated. “Why do you only have your left ear pierced?” she asked.
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It’s just what some men did back when I was young.” Men like Harrison Ford, Michael Jordan, and Ed Bradley wore one earring in those days-all of them highly respected men.Ī conversation I had last week with a former student who is now in middle school caused me to re-think my answer. Until last week, my answer has been, “Lots of men have one earring. Then they inevitably ask why I only have one ear pierced. Kids at school often ask me why I have an earring, and hoping to enlighten them, I always say that boys can have earrings, too. Nevertheless, I’ve worn an earring for the better part of three decades now. She favored the safety pin, ice cube, and raw potato method-which, in hindsight, would have given me much more street cred than a trip to a boutique. When my mom saw it, she said she could have saved me the ten bucks and done it herself. When my dad first saw my new earring, he rolled his eyes and laughed.